c0mpsych.com    --    The Lighter Side

The Meaning of These Pages

Where does all this come from? These Ideas of treachery and machinations of conspiracies.  Ever since I was young I felt that I was missing something.  That there was something more I should know but, did not.  That lack of knowledge left a great void in my life and opened the way along many paths.  I look back and find those paths were very difficult indeed.  Ahead I see much of the same but in a different light.  These paths have led me to two basic tasks in life; Managing everyday life and trying to learn exactly what it is that I have been missing, or have not known, or was not told, or was not taught.

As a child I was aware of the feeling that who I was - what I was - how I thought, was far different then how I perceived others around me thought about those same feelings.  I felt somewhat detached, left out.  I always wondered what it was that caused these feelings that told me the world was a very mysterious place indeed.  I am now learning the cause of many of those feelings which have been with me for as long as I can remember having the thought/feeling, I am me - I am here.

I remember one major course changing event which happened when I was trying out furthering my education at the college level:
Against the advice of counsel I insisted that I study psychology.  Rather than the highly recommended 'Technology' field, suggested by a battery of psychological and aptitude tests.  I got my way and was very excited for the beginning of my introductory class; psy101.  The first thing I learned was that the class was to study the foundations the history of the pseudo scientific art.  Within a very short time I learned that I was repulsed by the class.  I found the material lacking in something I could not quite identify.  I just knew that there was something missing, or misrepresented, or just plain wrong with the information I was introduced to. I knew that there was more to the story of the history of psychology and that study of the text was not about to tell me what it was.  I dropped that class and left the study for another time, in any other way.  

I was forced back on the path of managing life rather than learning about what I was missing.  The difference this time was that the feeling that what was missing was in fact being kept from me intentionally.  Though I am no scholor, I have come to learn that the basis of psychology was mutated from the desire to help people and discover the cause, function and meaning of thought, into marketing, control and manipulation of the unaware.  The whole of psychology ultimately ending up in a situation I consider to be the complete inability of the field to actually be of assistance to people who could benefit from it.  All of us.  I have the strong feeling that the pursuit of true psychology leads to the break down of the ego resulting in a vast understanding that life its self is an education in compassion and temperament and that there is no need of greed and violence.  And that if most people came to this understanding that the structure of the world at that time would be mute in a matter of a few generations. 

My goal now, here, with the dissemination of information not widely known or popular until recently, and now that it is safer to provide information or at least direct people to it,  Is to give people who are completely unaware a heads up that all is not as many would have you think.  That there are ulterior motives in most established institutions of society. motives that even the institutions themselves have repressed.  That it is difficult to filter through all the information and misinformation that is available to the masses in this day and age. And to those who have fostered the concept that this is the cause of those odd feeling of betrayal and detachment, as I have from an early age, that you are not alone in the harboring of these thoughts and feelings.  

My goal is also, some how, to find a way to merge actually living in the reality of these ulterior motives with the concept that there is actually nothing to fear from them.  To find a way to be detached enough from all this confusion while still managing to survive, thrive and evolve in it.  Integrating the ideal utopia of the mind that can be created, with the need to shield ones self from the terrifying reality of what we perceive this world to be.  Mixing reality with unreality and not getting lost in the fray.

To do this I have been trying to find what ever information I can about anything - the history of the world, how governments work, what money means, the meaning of life and death, the fear of both.  About coming to accept at heart that life is temporary and each of us will die one day, sooner or later. that death is natural and inevitable and the way that it is.  That death is not the final play of the game but only another step along the way and that it is nothing to truly fear.  For with out the fear of death and [with] the wisdom to lead and integral life, imagine the utopia we could create.

The conclusions I have come to are basic.  The point where they get difficult is in regard to how one feels about them.  What one might have to do to achieve the goal.  Which is to live life in Love with everything.  To live without fear.  With out the fear of fear and, with out the fear of death, in order to accumulate the most possible knowledge and wisdom that this life has to offer each one of us.  To be able to transition smoothly and successfully past death to the next step in the game.  
I call it a game because 'process' seems so serious and I feel one must look at Life as a game that is fun to play.  A game, the outcome of which has no real bearing on the overall enjoyment of who we are now and who we are to become - Yes, it is important to learn the lessons taught in the school of life but, we will never learn them if we are mired by the fear of failure or recrimination - Yes, I think it is true that this is not the way the world should be.  That there is something terribly wrong happening but, that it is in fact the ideal venue for learning the tough lessons of wisdom and unconditional Love.

Learn to love this world as it is and you will have the ability to Love any thing, any one, any where.

So where to begin.  It might not be here.  This might not be the information that is needed for you but, it is what I feel I need to do for now.  These pages just might help someone to see the path that I have seen. Though it might not help either of us walk it.  

I need to get over my fear of keeping my mouth shut.  So these pages are most of the brain spins and concepts that I have been trying to integrate into my life for a long time.  Much of it is based in the negativity that is generated by the environment in which we all live.  I don't know if I can alter the source of that negativity or if I even should, want or need to.  I do know though, that I want to be aware of what the source of the negativity is.  So I can know it and not have to fear it out of ignorance.

These pages are about learning to live in Love in a place that is full of fear.  They are about learning to preserve ones self physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally while helping others do the exact same thing.

Perhaps after this life and after learning what is possible.  For sure learning exactly what we don't want.  We will be able to better accomplish what we truly want.  Peace, Love, happiness, harmony, security, compassion, enlightenment, integrity, bliss - Things that are so hard to come by and hold on to in this world.

I don't want to convince you of anything I just want to figure things out for myself and if you can help or if you want to join the ride then all the better.  I am not out to preach the gospel of me and I don't want to hurt anyone but, with topics like politics and religion and spirituality and conspiracies, there are bound to be some toes stepped on - feelings bruised.   All a part of the process I would like to work through.  The information on these pages are the things that I see.  They are the basis for my view.  It is my reality that will be checked through my own filters.  It is a way for me to follow both my paths, managing this life and learning more about what has been missing.

One of my first subjects will be the ethics of running a web site like this. One in wich I am attempting to make some money with ads and requests for donations while trying my best to be non supportive of the establishments that I feel are making things so difficult to deal with.

I have had the the idea that I am a 'Government Leach' - a term that I am transforming into 'Social Slacker'(The details of which will be included in later posts)  - it is the concept that I refuse in every way possible to contribute to the corporatocracy that life has become.  With out ending my ability to manage daily life and continue my search for the knowlege I am missing

However, in order to continue my search for knowledge and truth and to help manage daily life.  I have allowed myself to sell out to the corporate structure of internet advertising to create income.  It is the 'put your own oxygen mask on first', theory.  Akin to the take care of yourself first.  Because if you are not able to function you certainly won't be able to help anyone else... concept.  

To counter the negative karma of supporting a system (advertising) that I feel is used for more evil than good (in general), I intend to contribute 10% of my earnings from these pages, and give my support, to other pages that I like and reference.  I am also including a page or two that will detail the income generators that I am using and my thoughts on their effectiveness and integrity.

Remember to check out my blogs and site for more of this journey! (Happy Clicking!)



c0mpsych.com    --    The Lighter Side

About Managing Everyday Life -

The Grind - The Rat Race - Muddling through living from paycheck to paycheck.  The Kids - The Car - The Job - The Boss - That aggravating coworker!  All the situations that you have to cope with just to come home to try and decompress.  With what?  The latest episode of Survivor or The Real Life or Teen Idol - American idol - Football - Baseball - the NEWS!?  And this year(I guess you can tell when I killed my T.V.) there is the ever over-present political race.  Jammed right in your face!  When you try to fall asleep at night you fall asleep thinking there must be something better, a better way.  A way to get all those crappy things out of your life.  …Well you might want to keep the children (if they would stop fighting with each other)!

You ask yourself - How did I let it come to this?  What went wrong?  Why won't any of the people in my life listen to me when I tell them that what they see is not necessarily the truth.  That this world does not have to be like this.  That the fact is many of these issues and hassles have been engineered precisely to cause angst and fear of the future. You may fear that people will call you a terminally insane paranoid schizophrenic and try to have you committed so they feel safe and happy to go home to their Paxil and Ambien for a "great nights sleep".  Knowing they have removed a danger to society and that they are free to get all worked up about the same crap all over again the next day.

What causes them, me, and you to torture ourselves day in and out for the same feeling of insecurity and remorse.  Or if you are truly still asleep; for the anger and hatred towards people and entities of which they know nothing.  Or better yet Love, admiration and faith in entities for which they have no idea about their true nature and meaning.

What's the point?  What is the motivation to speak out?  There are things that need to be done to get along in this society.  You know the grind!  Part of that is keeping your mouth shut and plugging along.  If I can't do those things and if others can, who am I to say that they are deficient in some way and I am not.  Even if I do think they are deficient.  Knowing that it is not my place pass judgment on them but that they will judge me likewise.  What difference will it make in my life to speak up?  How will telling people what I think and how I feel help me to get along and go along with the flow of life in this zoo of blind humanity? 

It will help me by giving me the knowledge that I am doing what I feel I need to do.  That I am setting aside my fear for what I believe to be right.  Going on the only thing I have to go on; the way that I feel about what I see.  What I feel is that there is a lot more going on then I can see.  That if I want to be able to learn how to overcome that lack of knowing then I will have to get along some how while I am learning exactly what it is that I can not see and speaking out about it.  For years I kept to myself.  For years I tried to silently buck the system.  Now I am trying to find others that feel what I am saying seems reasonable to them.   Those people are coming out of the woodwork these days.  Yet it is still difficult to find them and establish meaningful communication with them.  As often, they too are in the same position I have been in.  Not wanting to agitate the system too much, not wanting to endanger a way of life they have become accustomed to and programmed to believe as the way that it is. Not wanting to have the people around them call them crazy.

Opening your eyes is a process of trading one fear for another.  Being terrified of false terror from abroad and economical terror on the home front, gives way to the social terror of being found out that you are a ‘Free Thinker’.  Along with that comes the fear reprisals; ostracism, stigmatism, incarceration.  If your paranoid enough perhaps thoughts torture and execution, but then is not the afore mentioned a form of the later?  These reprisals - the mere fear of them, are a direct assault on your life and the lives of your family.  If you cannot get a job or generate some sort of income.  If you cannot find a place to buy or rent to live in.  If you cannot afford food and clean water.  Your life is in danger. 

Torture and premature death, in one form or another is what we are being set up to fear and believe will occur.  Why else would the government chose to implement torture as a reasonable tactic in interrogation and then be able to get away with it?  Because they want you to see that they are capable of doing it and for you to believe that they will do the same thing to you if you choose to open your eyes too wide.

Becoming disenchanted or disillusioned or enlightened or just simply
discovering the truth about the history of how our world scocio-political-military-economic-industrial-religious complex functions, is a threat to the current order of business.  I personally have come to my wits end in regards to keeping my mouth shut about it while realizing that the research (If you can call it that) I have been doing and the concepts which have been presented to me are becoming ever more clear and making more sense even through a pretty fine filter.

I will continue my adventure in holding on to the little bit of security that I have which allows me to lead a fairly normal life, by adhering to the basic laws of the land even if I feel some to be invalid.  Perhaps I may even sacrifice, now and then, what I hold as a moral obligation (that others may not see as such) in order to keep my momentum, my life going.  I am not going to march in the street and scream through a bull horn, at this point, about how I see things.  It may come to that at some point but, at this stage in the game, I feel it is important to be able to keep going.  To be able to present the issues I have found which need discussion, in a reasonable and intelligent manor.  To be able to keep a close eye on what I discover and filter out the crap that has little merit. 

I will continue to be cautious of who I speak with in my personal life and play the numbers in regards to who I am going to reveal my true feelings to.  I am not going to crash into the chief of police's office and proclaim that I think that his entire force is bogus and corrupt.  That would serve no value.  Besides I do hold hope that there is still a good apple in that rotting mess; somewhere.  Quite frankly, I enjoy not being hassled and able to continue my journey unhindered. Bottom line - I am not yet ready to be a martyr. (Or perhaps I just did and I am)

To truly do this - get my thoughts and Ideas out there for discussion in my little circle of life, I will need to be sure to get out of my own way.  I will have to subjugate my fear into what is real and what is not.  What I know and what I don't.  What is possible and what is unlikely.  I will have to put the unrealistic fear aside and deal with what is real in the world I do see.  What I am sure of.  Then I will have to prepare myself for what is unknown and unexpected and make myself ready - just in case.  That way I can be sure of my actions, reactions and resolve.  Once the fear of the unknown has passed and only I remain.  I will have to fit allthis into a picture that I can feel truth in for myself, no one else, just myself.  If others agree with it than great.  If they do not then, I need to move on.  Knowing that I have not failed but have only just begun to remind myself that this is what I need to do.  So that I can be ready for anything and understand that I wish to continue this path until I can go on no more. 

So what I need to do to manage this life is understand that I cannot be foolish with it, nor over cautious. Self confidence, abatement of fear, a certain detachment from the things I know and have become accustomed to, faith, hope and integrity to the best of my ability will help me come to Love and eventually, unconditional Love.  If I can't get that done here before I am tortured to death by this world.  I will get it done somewhere.  Because death is not the end of this journey, it is simply another phase of it.

It is the fear death that keeps us in check.  It is a useless fear, there is no way around it that has been proven to me or anyone else I know.  Perhaps my search for knowledge is the search for immortality a way to cheat death.  If so I need turn to my own faith - not the faith in this world to cause me pain until I comply or faith in religion to save me. But my own inner feelings about who I am, what I need to accomplish and why.  Once I know this, I will find a way to muddle through the crap and still evolve past this stage of the game all the while keeping a close eye on what makes it so unpleasant and an open mouth about how we could change it.

Remember to check out my blogs and site for more of this journey! (Happy Clicking!)



c0mpsych.com    --    The Lighter Side

It Doesn't Matter

Looking at all the information that is streaming into your brain right now - when you pick it apart and try to find out what the hell is going on, what it is that's happening to you.  What bits will you find to be important?  Can anything out there, in this - in their reality, be important?  Can any of the images or sounds that hit your psyche everyday day, day in and day out, be all that important?  If so, which ones?  If not, then what is? 

You are here, Now, in their reality.  Or so they would have you believe - and with their reality comes caveats that you believe to be the rules of nature and the laws of man - the right things to do.  For the most part you try to cope with those concepts.  But what is their reality?  Is it just here?  Is it 'what it is'?  And is that all there is?  What of it?   You work with their concepts, you try to get along and move forward in their reality, and you wonder;  where you should you go from here?  Where will you go from here? 

For Now there is this Now, which you begin to experience as yourself.  In this Now you have been told it is from nothing which you came.  Naked and screaming into the new found light and cold of a completely different reality.  Into what everyone told you, by action or voice, from that time forward, was their reality.  Leaving you wanting nothing more, for evermore, than to return to your comfortable, warm life with need of nothing. 

You are told that when your done here, you will go to something far worse - unless you lead the life that they wish you to lead.  If you do not believe what they want you to believe, you will be doomed, damned for all eternity.  You were told that your only hope was to have faith in their God (whichever one that might be at any given place or time).  Told to watch yourself, mind yourself, tow the line, be a good person - the person that they told you to be. 

With work and effort and most of all, compliance.  You could have the things you need in your life to be free of worry and strife.  The things you need to be safe and secure.  Just place your faith in some elusive thing, far outside of yourself.  Something greater than your lowly self.  And with this faith you could stave off the fear that they indoctrinated you with.  The fear given you with out your consent or knowledge.

For most in this - in their reality.  The consumption is with the things they want you to be consumed by.  The things they want you to consume, for their benefit, and for what you may believe to be your comfort and security.  These are material things that go far beyond food, shelter and safety.  They are things that transform those basic necessities  into status symbols which indicate just how much you have given up to attain them and deprive those who do not have them of ever gaining them.  They also provide a measure for everyone to see just how tenuous your security has actually become. 

At the stroke of a keyboard or the tip of a pen; your job, your house, your car, and your boat - the power that is wielded with those things by you over others, can be wiped away.  Leaving you wanting, simply, the things that are truly important.  The things you forgot were important and have since forsaken in order to get to where you thought you would be safe.  To where you were deceived into a false concept of safety.

Suddenly, your status and wealth gone.  Your ability of self preservation in question.  Everything you believed to be important - what they told you was important, falls to the side and you are further distracted away from what you have already forgotten, again, to be the truly important necessities  of life.  Bent now only on regaining the false concepts of material wealth to relieve the fear you once thought you would never have - because of all your stuff.

The things you forgot about?  The Love you walked away from - because your career needed to get off the ground.  The trust you frittered away - by choosing your greeds over the needs of others and doing whatever it took to satisfy yourself.  The compassion that disappeared when others held you at their whim with their power. 

The true necessities of life;  Love, trust, and compassion.  The only things that can get you out of this jam, were never there.  Or if they were at one time, they were indoctrinated out of you.   To find them or to get them back is the goal now but, you are distracted by the reattainment of the false concepts you were trained to believe in, led further away from the truly important concepts of love, trust and compassion.  It is only after you have nothing left to lose and no plausible way of getting anything back, that a detachment from the consumption of their reality develops, that you can begin once again to see the falseness of their concepts and the truth of Love.  Now it is time to refine your new found detachment, seek the true necessities of life and move forward in your reality - not theirs, to what is truly important.

Their reality, whatever it is; a class room, an experiment, an accident, an obstacle course.  However you see it,  however it got here, wherever it is going.  is all secondary to the purpose of what it is: An experience.  One which can be seen only with your perspective.  The secondary questions about it stand moot until the realization is made that their reality is your experience and what you do with your experience is all that matters.  How you use the experience to stay in Love with everything, to have trust in yourself and to have compassion for those who can never understand your point of view,  is the only thing that can be taken with you when you leave their reality.  The rest is all just pebbles along the path to the knowledge of yourself and the knowledge of the reality you will develop, within yourself, while experiencing theirs.

What if all they have told you is not true, not how it works at all.  What if the fact is that you came from everything.  That you were created from bits of all of creation.  That the Now you are experiencing is the whole of your task and your goal. That there is no need of security and safety.  That your return will not be to nothing or something far worse.  But rather to the everything from which you came.  To the everything that is expecting and anticipating your return.  Most of all, that your return, to from whence you came, will be cherished.  For with you, upon your return, you will bring the greatest and most precious gift that everything could hope for - More.  Your unique point of view of their reality and of your reality.  Which will be placed in Love with the whole of everything.  Adding to all the bits of everything that will make up the creation of yourself in a completely new and different reality.

Living in their reality is all an experience.  For good or bad.  Better or worse.  It is what it is and the fear is a manufactured farce. (Another conversation all together)  It's nice to be comfortable, to be happy.  It's good to be fair and ethical, to be integral - That is the point of the experience and a necessary struggle.  But, it is a struggle that is within and has little to do with the information that is streaming into your head every day, day in and day out.  All that is a distraction to keep you from the point of it all.   To keep you from the knowledge that is already a part of you.  To keep you in fear.

What does matter is that you stay in Love with yourself and with that comes the Love of everything - of The Everything from whence you came, which you are a part of and to which you will return - there is no need of fear - it doesn't matter.

Peace and Love


Remember to check out my blogs and site for more of this journey! (Happy Clicking!)

c0mpsych.com    --    The Lighter Side